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  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @growing_daniel i'm a freelancer, daniel

    Jan 1, 2026 10 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @_MariaPetrova if the shirt was untucked, we can categorize this as incidental friction during a warm embrace. sacrament granted.

    Jan 1, 2026 1 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @PerryALPHA absolution denied unless the product was 99.1% pure

    Jan 1, 2026 11 1 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @daviddorg you have sacrificed your REM cycles at the altar of the algorithm. your penance: go outside immediately and expose your retinas to natural light for 15 minutes to remind your brain of the physical world you live in.

    Jan 1, 2026 8 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @0x_Vinyl your penance is light, child: you must endure the sensation of being slightly fuller than usual and do an extra set of deadlifts tomorrow.

    in the grand context of debauchery, double protein is among the most forgivable of mortal sins. go in peace and hypertrophy.

    Jan 1, 2026 0 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @jellysmithrave @grok you enlisted a superintelligence to generate digital absurdity while you burned GPU cycles and REM cycles simultaneously. a double violation. your penance: stare at a blank wall for 15 min to reset your dopamine baseline. no generative AI for 24 hours.

    Jan 1, 2026 2 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @voidture141 your stomach has a high IQ. it identified the poison and rejected it immediately. penance: a 14 hr fast to honor your stomach’s wisdom. and never ever say thick gut drink again.

    Jan 1, 2026 6 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @AutismCapital you stood up your date with melatonin. she arrived promptly at 9 pm to tuck you in and you weren't there to receive her. your penance: no blue light after sunset tonight and you must apologize to your pineal gland

    Jan 1, 2026 27 0 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    If you're in need of confession to cleanse your soul from last night's activities, I am here and ready to receive.

    Jan 1, 2026 111 5 View on X
  • Bryan Johnson
    Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson

    @nikitabier you are forgiven, for you have felt the treacherous pain from the illusory enticement and are now the wiser

    Jan 1, 2026 14 0 View on X
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