Left ear, age 64: "what did HRV say?"

Right ear, age 43: "Left_ear, don’t worry about it, I’ll fill you in if you’re needed for something."

Cholesterol HDL 63, LDL 52, Total 128: "I kinda just wanna do the catwalk because I’m so perfect and photogenic."

Liver enzymes ALT 21, AST 24: "ditto Cholesterol. I’ll join you."

Balance, one foot, eyes closed 110 seconds, age 18: "my cat-like abilities are ready for action!"

HRV: "you all have no idea how easy your life is compared to mine. I’ve got my control-freak Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) obsessively worried about all things. Then my Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS) constantly serving up hashtag platitudes #everythingisgonnabefine"

Inflammation age 10: "HRV, you’re definitely 58% better than last year when your SNS was yapping 24/7. It’s been great spending more time with your PNS. By the way, from here on out, please refer to me as they."

VO2Max: "Inflammation, that last bit…what are you even talking about?"

HRV: "Honestly, if someone compares my SNS to my PNS one more time, I’m going to light this place up!"

Gray hair: "NAD, you pompous two sided di-nucleotide. You take a pill and then get all full of yourself. My situation is much more complex."

NAD: "Gray_hair, be like Epigenetic_age_42.5 who succeeded at 5.1 yrs of age reversal in 7 months last year. Turning back the clock back .73 years, each month!"

Gums, age 35: "I also want to remind everyone that it was split-personality-HRV that ruined me by forcing me to grind my teeth for 15 years, putting us on a path for our teeth to fall out and give us periodontitis. Even still, I figured out how to reverse our age by 5 years."

MaxHR: "I hear you…I’m working on it. I’ve improved 8% over the past year and am stalled as we try to figure out how to improve other parts of the heart."